When Stories Become Evidence: The First Peer-Reviewed Paper from the #SiblingsToo Story Portal

One mother wrote:

“I will never get over the pain of sending my son to live with his grandmother in order to protect my daughter, or the pain of not being able to tell [the grandmother] why he needed to stay with her, or of having to make up a lie to protect everyone.”

Her story is one of 22 parent narratives analysed in a new peer-reviewed study exploring what happens to parents and families following the discovery or disclosure of sibling sexual behaviour and abuse (SSB/A).

It captures one of the difficult realities at the heart of this research: parents may be required to make immediate and painful decisions to protect the child who has been harmed while continuing to carry responsibility for the child who caused harm and while trying to hold together whatever remains of family life.

Since launching the SiblingsToo Project, people affected by SSB/A have trusted us with their stories.

They have written about what happened, how it affected them and their families, what went wrong when they sought help, what worked, and what they hope will change. Some stories were shared by people who had been harmed. Others came from people who had caused harm, parents, siblings, and other family members.

Each was a personal account of an experience too often hidden, misunderstood, minimized, or met with an inadequate response.

Those stories are now beginning to contribute to the peer-reviewed evidence on sibling sexual behaviour and abuse.

I am very pleased to share that the first peer-reviewed paper arising from the SiblingsToo Story Portal research has now been published in Child Abuse & Neglect:

“‘Tell me your story’: A qualitative analysis of written narratives from individuals affected by sibling sexual abuse and behaviour: The perspective of parents.”

The paper was written by Amy Adams, Dr. Sophie King-Hill, and me through the University of Birmingham.

I am enormously proud to be its second author, and particularly proud that this is my first peer-reviewed academic publication.

But this paper exists because people chose to tell us their stories.

Why focus on parents?

This particular study examined the 22 Story Portal narratives submitted by parents, primarily mothers.

The other stories submitted to the portal came from people affected by SSB/A in different ways and those accounts will contribute to other research.

Most research has understandably focused most strongly on those harmed by SSB/A. Their experiences, safety, and support needs must remain central.

At the same time, SSB/A does not occur in isolation. Its discovery or disclosure usually affects the entire family.

Parents may suddenly be expected to protect and support the child who has been harmed, respond appropriately to the child who caused harm, consider the needs of other siblings, make difficult decisions about contact and living arrangements, and navigate police, child protection, therapeutic, and legal systems.

They may have to do all of that while trying to understand how something they did not recognize (and may never have known to look for) could have happened within their family.

Understanding parents’ experiences is therefore not about shifting attention away from those harmed.

It is about understanding the family environment in which safety, support, decision-making, and recovery must take place.

The paper makes this distinction clearly. Recognizing the wider impact on parents and other family members does not detract from the centrality of the harmed child’s experience. Instead, it helps explain why parents may feel overwhelmed and conflicted as they try to respond to the different needs of all their children.

What did the parents’ stories show?

The parents whose narratives were examined described profound emotional, relational, and practical consequences following the discovery or disclosure of SSB/A.

For many, family life changed immediately.

Routines were restructured. New boundaries and supervision arrangements were introduced. Trust was damaged. In some families, siblings could no longer live together or have contact.

Parents were trying to create safety while managing decisions that could divide a family physically as well as relationally.

They also described shock, guilt, shame, fear, and self-blame.

Many searched back through their family history looking for signs they believed they should have noticed. Some questioned where they had been, what they had missed, or whether they could somehow have prevented what happened.

Several parents said they had taught their children about “stranger danger” and the risks posed by adults outside the family, but had never understood that inappropriate, harmful, or abusive sexual behaviour could occur between siblings.

One parent wrote:

 “I talked to my kids about stranger danger but never about other kids being the abuser. I never even thought to but I wish I had.”

These stories point to a significant gap in public awareness. Parents cannot be expected to recognize or prevent something they have never been told can happen.

Divided responsibilities and loyalties

The narratives also revealed the difficulty of carrying several responsibilities at once.

Parents were trying to centre the safety and needs of the child who had been harmed while continuing to carry parental responsibility, and often love, for the child who had caused harm.

The behaviour had to be taken seriously. Risk had to be managed. Safety had to come first.

But the child responsible was still their child.

Parents described the emotional conflict of condemning the behaviour while maintaining attachment to the child. They worried about the future of both children, the effects of separation, and the possible consequences of professional or criminal justice involvement.

These are not simple or linear decisions. The study helps show why responses that may appear indecisive or contradictory from the outside can reflect a parent attempting to manage several competing duties at once.

None of that reduces the importance of believing, protecting, and supporting the child harmed.

It does show why parents need informed guidance rather than judgment or unrealistic expectations that they should immediately know how to respond to a situation for which few families are prepared.

When seeking help creates further harm

Many parents in the study described taking action after discovery or disclosure.

They sought therapy, contacted police or child protection services, established safety plans, or made significant changes within the home.

That is important because parents are sometimes discussed mainly in terms of denial or minimization. The narratives in this study show that many parents actively tried to protect and support their children, often while lacking the information, resources, or professional guidance they needed.

Some professional responses helped. Others added to the disruption and distress.

Parents described having to repeat painful family histories to multiple professionals, feeling judged or unsupported, navigating confusing legal and safeguarding processes, and struggling to find appropriate help, particularly help that enabled them to respond safely to all the children involved.

Several described professional systems as confusing, inadequate, or retraumatising. Seeking help could become another source of emotional and practical strain for families already in crisis.

The answer is not to reduce the support given to the child harmed.

It is to make professional responses more informed, coordinated, trauma-aware, and capable of supporting the family members responsible for putting safety plans and therapeutic recommendations into practice.

Why whole-family support matters

A whole-family approach does not mean treating every person’s experience as equal or equivalent.

The person harmed remains central. Their safety, voice, wellbeing, and support must be prioritized.

But parents are often the people expected to translate professional guidance into daily family life.

Their ability to make sound decisions, maintain safety, support recovery, and remain emotionally available to their children is affected by their own wellbeing and by the quality of the support they receive.

Acknowledging the emotional and practical effects on parents is therefore not a diversion from supporting harmed children.

It can strengthen that support.

As the paper explains, recognizing parental trauma does not detract from children’s experiences. It recognizes that parents’ capacity to support their children is directly affected by their own emotional stability and wellbeing.

The findings point toward the need for better public awareness, stronger practitioner education, trauma-informed responses, and services that understand SSB/A as a family-level event with different effects and support needs across the family.

A personal milestone, and a shared one

This publication is personally very meaningful to me.

It is my first peer-reviewed paper, and I am deeply proud to be listed as second author. My contribution included project administration, investigation, formal analysis, and data curation.

I am also honoured and delighted to be working with Amy Adams and Dr. Sophie King-Hill at the University of Birmingham. They are special people to me.

This paper reflects careful and collaborative analysis, and we are continuing to work together on further papers drawn from the Story Portal narratives. Watch this space!

Still, the most important acknowledgement belongs to the people who shared their stories.

They did not know exactly who would eventually read their words, what themes might emerge, or when the research would be published.

They shared because their experiences mattered and because, in many cases, they hoped that what happened to them or their family might contribute to greater understanding and change.

That trust carries a responsibility.

Our job is not simply to collect stories.

It is to listen carefully, protect the dignity of those who shared them, and help ensure that their experiences contribute to better knowledge, better professional responses, and better support.

The Story Portal is open again

The SiblingsToo Story Portal reopened on SiblingsToo Day, April 15, 2026.

More people are now adding their experiences to this growing body of narratives, and more research will follow.

Every story contributes something that statistics alone cannot provide: an account of what SSB/A looked like within a real life, a real relationship, and a real family.

Please read the paper and share it, where appropriate, with researchers, practitioners, policymakers, advocates, educators, and organizations working with children and families.

Most of all, thank you to every person who trusted SiblingsToo with their story.

This research began with you.